The Immortal
by Grozic
Summary: An immortal. A person who lives forever, forced to endure pain as he constantly loses the ones he cares for. Wars after wars. Peace only rested in death and death was impossible. Luckily for him, time will never lose its sense of humor. Chapter 2 Up.
1. Prologue: Eyes Open

The Immortal – Prologue: Eyes Open

By Grozic

Written 7.21.2009

Updated 7.23.2009

Disclaimer: I don't own any sort of franchise let alone the Neon Genesis Evangelion universe.

* * *

_Augen auf._

Oomph!

"Charging!"

"3…2…1… Clear!"

Oomph!

_Wake up!_

_Open your eyes, it's ok…_

"Clear!"

Oomph!

_It would be in your best interest if you woke up now._

Oomph!

"Sir, I think he's responding."

_Arigato…_

Opening his eyes, the patient groaned as the blinding light assaulted his line of vision. Once his eyes had adjusted, he saw a group of blurs around him. Moving around him in a messy fashion, scrambling for their charts or at least what he assumed were charts, they were making an irritating amount of noise. Being who he was, he opened his mouth to inform them of this fact.

Unfortunately, being asleep for an innumerable amount of years has a very bad effect on one's mouth and vocal cords, mainly being his body forgot how to use them. So as he started to talk or try to, all he could get out was a cough.

"It seems he's trying to speak," a voice said in an amused tone. _Male. _The patient scanned around, looking for the source of the man's voice amidst the sea of people and equipment being moved back and forth. Finally, looking to his right, he noticed a group of doctors just standing and observing his actions. "Well then, let's get started shall we? But first, we need to get rid of these little people." _Heh, little._ The patient inwardly mused as he noticed a giant, burly man lifting machines out. Receiving hateful glares, the grey haired man ignored them as he quickly shushed the rest of the assistant medical team out of the room, locking it as soon as the last piece of dust escaped.

Then, pure scientific chaos ensued…

"What's your name?"

"Where are you from?"

"Are you fluent in any languages?"

"Do you like cheese?"

"Who are you?"

"What's your I.Q.?"

"Do you like monkeys?"

"Are you a psyker?"

"Doctor?"

"Soldier?"

"Monkey?"

"Professor?"

"Captain?"

"Biomechanoid?"

"Tyruzion?"

"Humanoid?"

"Cheese-It?"

"Ahem!" The old, grey-haired man coughed loudly and very violently. It had seemed he overestimated the intelligence of his underlings. "If you haven't noticed, but our patient is currently unable to speak; therefore…"

"He can't speak."

_So much for trying…_ The wrinkly doctor mused. Rather than prolong this torture, he just decided to state the obvious. "Therefore, he can't answer your questions. "

"Ooooooooooooh."

"That makes a lot of sense."

"That sure is a genius observation, sir."

"Maybe he'd like a Cheese-It. It helps me when I'm speechless."

The old man felt like smacking himself in the face. It couldn't be possible that his so-called 'professional' team of doctors was this dense. He doubted anyone else in the world, no make that the entire multiverse, could be as dense as this.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­______________________________________________________________________________

Countless characters in their own animes sneezed in unison. In fact, the sneeze had been so well coordinated that God was avidly applauding the amazing feat. After he sneezed with them though.

Staring at God, wondering why he was clapping, Archangel Gabriel just decided to ignore it. God was simply too strange to understand.

______________________________________________________________________________

After using his own weight to push out the brain-dead group, he locked the doors. _Can't have those dumb zombies try to get brains by eating ours._ Looking back at the patient, he took out his portable scanner. The portable scanner, while less accurate than the heavy-duty scanner, still had a 99 percent of accuracy.

Walking towards the patient, he noticed the patient staring straight back at him. He ignored this and began the scans. The patient, very bored and confused at the same time, just laid there, living it up while wearing a gown that exposed his butt.

*beep*

*swoosh*

"Well, it seems the scans are done." The doctor took a careful look at them. They showed there was nothing wrong with the patient except repressed memories and his body adjusting to being active. The memories would be easy enough to let out, just a half an hour with the therapist here could get any man talking. While he didn't approve of the way the therapist did things, he had to admit they were extremely effective.

Going back to the task at hand, he only had one off-hand thought. _What was that swoosh?_

"Sir!"

_Oh hell no…_

"Excuse us, but can you please respond? We were worried when you locked the door."

_Oh bloody hell no… _

"Helloooo? You hear us sir?"

The old man looked back towards the door. It was locked and closed. His eyes scanned the around the room for the source of the annoyance. Finally arriving on the sight, he had one thought. _Holy shit… I can't believe they did that._ In his vision, he saw a broken window with the group of 'doctors' standing right there. "How did you break the window? It's supposed to be bullet-proof."

"Oh that? We just borrowed Dr. Vagner's laser can opener that he developed last week and made some adjustments on it. He guaranteed us it would be able to open any can, so we assumed he meant glass cans too."

The grey-haired man's eyebrow twitched at this. He wanted to scream, "_It's Wagner, he pronounces it with a 'v' because he's Germanic! And who the fuck makes glass cans?!" _Calming himself, the old man resorted to using his trusty, giant toy hammer. One swing and a couple seconds later, the 'doctors' that were previously assembled at the window were now falling down into bottomless pit that was at the center of the station. He softly cried to himself, knowing they would find a way to come back, despite the bottomless pit being bottomless.

______________________________________________________________________________

God sighed at this, he had clapped the first time they came back, but then it just got annoying. Especially when he, himself didn't know how it was done. He was supposed to be the All-Knowing! Damn it all to hell! Uh oh. Oh crap…

Archangel Gabriel sighed, half glad that there were certain safety measures in place in case of such an incident as God swearing and damning everything. His other half wished he had been damned to Hell to avoid all of God's little mishaps. Yep… Another day in paradise.

______________________________________________________________________________

Stifling anymore thoughts that would sidetrack him, the old man looked back at the patient. He was laying back. Motionless. Was he dead? No, that wasn't possible in such a sort amount of time. Or was it?

The old man poked the patient in the eye. He shifted. Nope, not dead.

It was just a case of having fallen asleep during the interruption.

*beep*

Grabbing his scanner, he had forgotten to turn it off as he was paying attention to the mindless idiots. He was about to shut it off when he noticed something. It seemed the patient was trying to recall something as the scanner indicated his brainwaves working at beyond the normal level. While no full memories were able to be acquired, the scanner showed the patient wasn't unsuccessful.

No, he had remembered his name.

_So his name is Shinji Ikari…_ The doctor mused. He would have to go into the archives and databases now. Glancing back, the old man decided the patient deserved some rest. He walked out softly as to not disturb the state of sleep the patient and in. He closed the door and left.

In the room…

Eyes opened.

* * *

Omakes!

Numéro Un!

Eyes opened.

"Holy fuck!"

Tears started streaming out of Shinji's left eye. Why the hell did he have to poke him in the eye? Why couldn't the crazy old man be normal and just gently shake his body.

It hurt so much! He could feel the blood rushing forth as the tears blurred the view from his left eye.

He'd have to pay the little, old bastard back soon. Real soon.

Moving his head around, he searched for a way out. Clearly he missed the unlocked door and broken window when his gaze rested on the ventilation shaft that was hovering over a couple of boxes.

Shinji grinned like a maniac.

_Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad…_

______________________________________________________________________________

Numéro Deux!

Dr. Vagner (ahem, excuse me) Dr. Wagner felt a chill down his back. An omen. Something bad was going to occur soon. Well, either something bad or he forgot to close a window. Looking around, he noticed all his windows were closed. _Vell…_

He didn't have a chance to complete his thought as his the door to his lab slid open. It was the therapist. Walking in slowly, the therapist held the handle of a box. The box itself seemed harmless enough, what was inside it however was tools.

_Tools of torture._ Dr. Vagner (woops) Dr. Wagner thought fearfully. He recalled what happened last time he met with the therapist. Just thinking about it sent his mind spiraling into the depths of despair.

"It's time for your yearly check-up doctor." The therapist put on a pair of gloves, snapping the edges to ensure they were put on all the way.

Wagner (hey what do ya know? I got it right) just eyed the therapist with the utmost terror and screamed when the therapist walked towards him.

Throughout the night, girly shrieks and screams could be heard for hours on end. The funny thing about this was that the therapist left two minutes after coming in.

* * *

A/N: My first fic ever. I'm so proud of myself. :D Personally, I gotta thank Alain Gravel for updating "Chosen" which in turn reminded me of the fic "The Fox Lord" by MadHat886 (thanks to him too). Combined with the two epic stories with the humorous "Gift" by Mercaba and "What We Make Of It" by Zentrodie (merci beaucoup to those two), I found myself with a scenario that wouldn't get out of my head.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed the beginning of the prologue, that's right, I said the BEGINNING of the prologue. This immortal concept is not really an original idea or anything, but it was an idea that allowed me free reign over what I wrote and the numerous crossovers I will make in this; planning to shamelessly spam them across your very eyes. To give a clear view of the lifespan of the story, it may possibly last forever and be immortal until I abandon it, or it may last until December 21, 2012. Hmm... maybe not so clear. It really is unpredictable. What I do know is that I want to finish at least two eras before it dies.

I'll be alluding to outside sources many times throughout the course of this story and just for funsies, I won't sick the therapist on whoever can guess what references I made here. Everyone else, be prepared for pain, or if you like what the therapist does, pleasure. You sick, sick masochists. On a side note, reviewing will provoke my mercy and you won't get hurt. .0

Good night, and good luck.


	2. Prologue: Past Not Forgotten

The Immortal – Prologue: Past (Not) Forgotten

By Grozic

Written 7.24.2009

Updated 7.25.2009

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or anything else I'm going to reference in here.

* * *

Waking up, the old man sat up quickly. Unfortunately…

*crack*

Too quickly perhaps, his bones ached in pain as he slowly lowered himself onto his back again to rest and recuperate.

*click*

*swoosh*

*smash*

Barely a centimeter away from the giant hammer swinging him out into never-ending pit, he sure was glad he hadn't gotten up. He wondered, however, who could or even would do such a thing.

Laying at rest again, he dismissed the thought and shifted his mind to the newly awoken patient. Today was the day he was supposed to meet with the therapist and for all intents and purposes, the grey-haired doctor hoped patient Ikari would be up for the task. Revealing his memories would be crucial to figuring out who young man was.

His search through the archives had been fruitless as there was no mention of any Ikari lineage other than the last generation when a woman had changed her last name to Ikari. Cross-referencing that little tidbit with the current databases, he found she had married and now there was a family of Ikaris.

The man sighed. He highly doubted they were related to each other in any way as their appearances were completely different. Shinji Ikari had brown hair and blue eyes while the Ikari woman had pink hair and green eyes.

"You are a mystery, Shinji Ikari," the old man mused aloud to himself.

"Sir!"

The grey-haired man looked to the voice. Standing at the entrance was a group of E.L.I.T.E. operatives, all fully armed and alert. The Elysian Lambda Interrogation and Tactical Experts; why their name had to be so strange, the old man could only guess and guess he did. _Probably trying to spell out elite. I always knew they had issues but seriously, spelling out elite? They've got some inferiority problems._

"Sir!"

"Oh what now?" The wrinkly doctor asked, the sound annoying his ears as he was trying to ease the pain in his back.

"The patient has escaped from his room, sir!"

"What?! You idiots! How did this happen?"

"We don't know sir. We thought it was the broken window…"

Sweating nervously, the grey-haired man tried to look inconspicuous. _Hehe…_

"But we also found the door was unlocked…"

The doctor was going at it like a pig under the burning sun now. _I'm going to die aren't I?_

"Then one of our team spotted an open ventilation shaft over a pile of boxes that seemed to have been climbed on."

_Huh? The vent system?_ The doctor mused, slightly relieved that he was only at fault for two of the escape methods.

"So naturally, we had assumed the best choice. We currently have a few teams going through the vents to make sure."

"That's good, we need men to go through the… WHAT?!" Was it possible that these guys were dumber than his group of scientists? "Get your men out of there NOW! Send them to patrol the halls or somewhere else Ikari is

"Sir, with all due respect, we are professionals and believe that the patient had chosen to go through the ventilation system. How else do you explain the open shaft?"

"Grr… Fine, do what you want," the doctor finally conceded. The leader of the group motioned for the group to stand at the corners of the room. "What are you doing now?"

"Standing guard, sir."

Sighing, the doctor just sat down and began working on how to defeat his one true enemy… the giant stack of paperwork that seemed to never get any smaller.

Unbeknownst to any of the occupants of the room, their escapee had just walked past the room dressed in the patented doctor/scientist lab coat.

______________________________________________________________________________

Ikari Shinji, patient number 269987, was currently roaming the halls of the station, looking for a way out. While he wasn't sure what the place was, he doubted it could be any worse than the places he had been through before.

He had gained his memories back soon after he set the trap in the old geezer's room. Boy, would that old man be in for a surprise. Shinji grinned at this. _Serves that old fart right for poking my eye._

Walking while thinking, Shinji bumped his head into the wall.

Focusing back to reality, he gazed upward and noticed a giant poster of some sort. It had English characters on it and looked like it was describing the place he was in or something.

"Black… miso? And Apeture… Silence," Shinji tried to read it in English. While having one's memories back was one thing, getting used to them was another.

"I believe you're trying to say Black Mesa and Apeture Science," a voice spoke in fluent Japanese. "I really don't understand why they use English here when most of our workers here speak Japanese."

Turning around, Shinji spotted a very beautiful lady in a suit who was, apparently, still speaking.

"But then again, I'm a German that uses Japanese as if it's her home language so I guess I should be talking like that."

She had sandy blond hair and looking at her pupils, he could see her eyes were a soft cloudy blue. He began to move his line of sight downwards. She had generous assets and from what he could see, a bold personality he assumed as she didn't seem to be wearing a bra and she was exposing a good amount of her bust. Quickly going further down, she had very nice toned legs. _That could wrap around me as I…_ Shaking his head, Shinji got his head out of the gutter and restrained his baser instincts.

"Oh, hi. I'm…"

"Ikari Shinji, I know who you are. You just recently escaped from your room right?" She smirked playfully at him.

Nodding his head, he stared at the lady in shock. _If she knows who I am then she could be a possible threat._

Putting her hand out for him to shake, he hesitantly took it. "I'm Anna Liebert, the therapist here. My brother is Johann. He works as the head of Interrogation. I've heard he could be a real monster sometimes though."

______________________________________________________________________________

"Tell me what you did!" yelled the masked interrogator as he began to take out two long cables.

"I am! I did absolutely nothing at all!" screamed a man, who had an uncanny look similar to Dr. Wagner. Oh wait… It was the good doctor.

*slam*

The door to the enclosed room was broken open. Two men entered.

"What the hell are you doing with Dr. Wagner, Johann?!" cried the old grey-haired man who was almost smashed by his own hammer this morning.

"He told me he saw my sister yesterday night and I'm asking him what he did with her," Johann answered as he took the cables and attached them to the man's nipples. The doctor just groaned in pain.

The guard to Dr. Wagner's room responded to his answer. "I saw her leave two minutes after she came in and heard Vagner here screaming like a sissy. I doubt he could of done anything."

"Then he didn't do anything?" Johann asked, though it was more of a thought to himself. Releasing the grip of the connectors, he was about to turn around and apologize when he heard a scream of unending anguish. It seemed when he released the grip, the connectors were already at the spot where they were supposed to be let go and attached themselves to the generator.

"Woops." Johann Liebert smiled nervously, not that anyone could see it through the mask.

The two other men in the room were speechless and only had one thought. _Oh shit, that's gotta hurt._

______________________________________________________________________________

Shinji gulped nervously while the German therapist just laughed. "Don't worry, as a medical patient, my brother doesn't get to speak to you…"

She smiled making Shinji blush. "But I do!" A glint shined in her eye as she tightened onto his hand and ran back to her official, soundproof, counseling room, dragging Shinji with her.

Shinji just relaxed in contentment, compared to certain others, this was a walk in the park in terms of pain. Maybe she wouldn't be as big a threat as he had originally thought.

______________________________________________________________________________

Several hours later, Shinji was gasping for breath.

Roughly pushed back onto the bed, Shinji soon felt an impact on his chest. Anna had just jumped onto him with a seductive grin and began kissing him all over and was about to go lower until Shinji grabbed hold of her and hugged her tightly enough so that she couldn't move down. She began to relax and lose some of her sexual energy as she snuggled into him like he was a giant teddy bear.

"Wow Shinji, that was amazing," she exclaimed as she looked at his face. "All of my patients before you only last for a few minutes, and then I end up accidently breaking them." Shinji shuddered at that. He was oh so very glad he had as much endurance as he had. "Luckily for me, I have my tools to fix them again," she stated as she pointed over to the wall. There was an assortment of whips, strap-ons, and sex toys.

Feeling Shinji shiver, she thought, _Maybe he's cold. I should warm him up with my body._ In her mind, she had a lecherous grin on. Cuddling with Shinji, she finally decided to go onto business, thought she wouldn't mind if she did go onto _that_ kind of business. "Shin-chan," the hot German whispered into his ear.

Gently stroking her hair, Shinji smoothly said, "Huh?" Yeah, very smoothly.

Giggling at his answer, Anna just spelt it out for him, "Would you like to talk about your past, Shin-chan? It's part of my job you know."

"Hmm…" He was very reluctant about revealing his past. It was something that seemed impossible, but was still true much like the _I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! _brand. A true paradox indeed.

"Pwetty pwease?" Anna pouted in a cute manner, though she still managed to somehow make it unbelievably sexy.

"Fine, but you owe me." Shinji kissed her on the lips, showing what he wanted in return.

She nodded almost immediately. There was no way in hell she would pass up a chance to have more sex with this stud.

And so, Shinji began his long tale of his adventures as an immortal.

* * *

Omakes!

Numéro Un!

Several hours later, Shinji was gasping for breath.

Roughly pushed back onto the bed, Shinji soon felt an impact on his chest. Anna had just jumped onto him with a seductive grin and began kissing him all over and was about to go lower until Shinji grabbed hold of her and hugged her tightly enough so that she couldn't move down. She began to relax and lose some of her sexual energy as she snuggled into him like he was a giant teddy bear.

"Wow Shinji, that was amazing," she exclaimed.

"Meh."

"What do you mean 'Meh'," the sexy German demanded. "That was the best sex I've ever had!"

"It was the best _you_ have ever had. For me, it was subpar," Shinji said nonchalantly.

Anna fumed, "And I suppose you can teach me to make it better."

"I could."

"Fine then! Teach me, Teacher," she purred teasingly.

Grabbing her body, he quickly maneuvered so that he was sitting on the side of the bed with her body on his lap and her butt sticking out. He started to smack her butt.

"Oh Teacher!"

And so it began. Lasting throughout the day, they role-played the naughty student and strict teacher routine. Various dirty talk could be heard during this time.

"Let me give you some first-hand experience with sex ed."

"Please Teacher, I'll do anything to pass the class."

"Teacher, not my ass! Oh Teacher, stop! It's so wrong."

"Depending on how well you can suck me, I'll give you a grade."

"Oh yes teacher! I've been a bad girl, punish me!"

Finally the copulation ended.

"Now that was good for me," Shinji stated.

"Not amazing yet?" Anna pouted, for her, that was mind-blowing. She was surprised she could still think, let alone talk.

"Nope."

She grinned naughtily. "Then we better keep on trying."

They went on for days on end nonstop. Even beating Misato's week with Kaji.

This prolonged amount of sex became famous and remembered throughout the years. It was forever dubbed the "Anna and Shinji Sexathon".

* * *

Author's Note: Mwhahahaha! It's finished! The prologue is finally done with and over. Now, what to crossover... Hmm... Any suggestions would be nice, though a true blue review would be even better.


End file.
